Dear Starbucks,
I like Clojure. It's a relatively new JVM-based language in the family of Lisp languages, which puts it in a heritage that's practically as old as programming itself.
It favours modelling problems using simple, immutable data structures - and let me tell you, once you've got used to immutable data structures you'll never want to go back to a language without them.
It uses a syntax that's akin to writing your code directly as an AST, which enables some very handy language features and editing tricks and again, will be hard to give up once you've gotten used to it.
And it has a REPL-driven development model that give you such a tight feedback loop on your code it's more like you're having a conversation with your computer - one that results in working code. It's so much fun.
And that reaction you have right now, the one that says, "I'm glad you're happy, but I don't know what you're talking about and I don't really care so please just quietly get on with whatever you do best without telling me the details ever again."
That's how I feel when you ask me which kind of coffee bean I want.